Don't Visit This .COM!!!

Sure this prank is considered assault. But it’s worth it. Don’t you think?

Classic.

Now this woman has some very big boobs. And I’m not complaining about her showing them off by bouncing them up and down. But what I’d like to know is, what woman actually sets up a camera, grabs her boobs and bounces them up and down for the specific purpose of putting them on the web?

Don’t get me wrong, if you are one of those women, feel free to send yours to boobs@dontvisitthis.com and I’ll post them for you…

And sometimes you just gotta stop and smell the roses…

Hey man. That’s not funny!

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. He wasn’t very smart. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the stomach. I laughed. Then they punched me in the stomach. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn’t adapt very well to their new home. They would screech, hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, this lost its novelty afer an hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Darn cheap monkeys.

I didn’t know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn’t work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.
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Of course, there may be a free alternative that will save you $20. I’m just sayin….

Heavy duty for extra strength ugliness!